Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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