You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
