i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
