dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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