She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
