Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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