having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
