Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
