Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
