This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
