Will you blow on my dice?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
