Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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