There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
