We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My breath smells like gin and sadness
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
