I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize