i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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