This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
