I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
