He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
