then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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