The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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