i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
