There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want to make a zoo with you.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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