You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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