Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
