would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
