Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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