Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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