You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
