grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
