so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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