how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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