that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
