Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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