my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
