just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
