maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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