Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
