i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Randomize
