the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm passing your future prison.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
