that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
