so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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