four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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