I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
