is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
