Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.

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  (440): he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever. http://tfl.nu/ykgr
  Replies (64) Good night (9923) Bad night (1121)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

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  (617): Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street. http://tfl.nu/miwy
  Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (3589)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??

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  (504): Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass?? http://tfl.nu/uw3d
  Replies (74) Good night (777) Bad night (3312)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.

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  (865): One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat. http://tfl.nu/8o5d
  Replies (18) Good night (3098) Bad night (864)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

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  (443): i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's http://tfl.nu/fnpd
  Replies (38) Good night (3399) Bad night (671)
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  (916): View more from California

  It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment

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  (916): It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment http://tfl.nu/y1ii
  Replies (15) Good night (1061) Bad night (3449)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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  (308): Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/konb
  Replies (8) Good night (3517) Bad night (967)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

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  (330): She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time. http://tfl.nu/qns1
  Replies (4) Good night (2891) Bad night (653)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.

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  (250): God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not. http://tfl.nu/2nya
  Replies (6) Good night (2137) Bad night (569)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number

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  (908): Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number http://tfl.nu/xbwx
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (1755)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?

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  (+44): You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman? http://tfl.nu/pxap
  Replies (1) Good night (1057) Bad night (793)
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  (707): View more from California

  That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on

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  (707): That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on http://tfl.nu/xdbh
  Replies (1) Good night (1243) Bad night (500)
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  (657): View more from California

  He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"

  (818): View more from California

  this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!

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  (657): He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up" (818): this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!! http://tfl.nu/b19c
  Replies (13) Good night (3366) Bad night (680)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i've gotta research that and get back to you.

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  (740): it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky. (419): i've gotta research that and get back to you. http://tfl.nu/7k7v
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...

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  (603): I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly... http://tfl.nu/93wn
  Replies (0) Good night (1202) Bad night (277)

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