she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
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I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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