i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Green mimosas i think yes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????