Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'

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  (512): And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.' http://tfl.nu/l1oz
  Replies (18) Good night (737) Bad night (3332)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.

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  (203): Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin? (1-203): I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight. http://tfl.nu/pi9j
  Replies (19) Good night (1689) Bad night (6414)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too

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  (603): im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too http://tfl.nu/8x1l
  Replies (27) Good night (7071) Bad night (1563)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.

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  (479): I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting. http://tfl.nu/hwr8
  Replies (14) Good night (5014) Bad night (1017)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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  (908): I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked http://tfl.nu/8tmt
  Replies (11) Good night (4068) Bad night (954)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".

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  (617): my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl". http://tfl.nu/voy6
  Replies (12) Good night (5733) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar

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  (978): Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar http://tfl.nu/tjlh
  Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (769)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.

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  (740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n
  Replies (11) Good night (1676) Bad night (1069)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.

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  (931): i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman. http://tfl.nu/vuix
  Replies (11) Good night (1431) Bad night (873)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too

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  (954): I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too http://tfl.nu/81kp
  Replies (0) Good night (1135) Bad night (551)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY

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  (314): So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY http://tfl.nu/g1zc
  Replies (2) Good night (1229) Bad night (470)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.

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  (+44): Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread. http://tfl.nu/ub9a
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??

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  (317): He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten?? http://tfl.nu/i55l
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.

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  (281): If I had feelings, you would have hurt them. http://tfl.nu/50o6
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season

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  (216): I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season http://tfl.nu/yswe
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (118)

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