Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila. http://tfl.nu/7qws
  Replies (15) Good night (7814) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ifrq
  Replies (18) Good night (7599) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit. http://tfl.nu/ykdx
  Replies (45) Good night (5473) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer. http://tfl.nu/9691
  Replies (7) Good night (3793) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program. http://tfl.nu/1rj5
  Replies (14) Good night (5083) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/s2q9
  Replies (11) Good night (1526) Bad night (5803)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly. http://tfl.nu/9uwy
  Replies (10) Good night (820) Bad night (4238)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success. http://tfl.nu/qxy1
  Replies (8) Good night (3398) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur http://tfl.nu/llqd
  Replies (8) Good night (5232) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  FUCK YOU MAN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049
  Replies (3) Good night (1684) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (876): View more from Jamaica

  i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (876): i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend http://tfl.nu/snpm
  Replies (9) Good night (829) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate. http://tfl.nu/0oig
  Replies (4) Good night (731) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7. http://tfl.nu/9u2f
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe. (1-724): I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it http://tfl.nu/uinn
  Replies (5) Good night (802) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games. http://tfl.nu/o181
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (423)

Randomize