Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
