Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize