haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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