WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
