I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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