Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
