Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
