I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
