sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Farmville is her only friend.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
