barbara walters just said penis...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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