she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Someone came in the potted fern
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I need water and some morals
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
