What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
