I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize