Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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