ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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