This girl is more easily done than said...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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