In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
