so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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