I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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