Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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