Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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