At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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