in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
