I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
