Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
