I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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